Losing the Will at Mealtimes? This One’s For You…
With two weeks of school holidays stretching ahead of us, don’t let the dining table become a battleground.
It can be the most frustrating part of the day, trying in vain to banish the beige food - or at least brighten it up with the odd vegetable, if you’re lucky.
But we’ve been in touch with the excellent Hannah Barth from Purely Nourishing and discovered her refreshing take on winning at mealtimes. A woman on a mission to help busy mums reconnect with their own bodies, Hannah also brings her years of experience working with children to the table here. And, according to her, we need to shift the focus from the veg, to the vibe.
So breathe, take five and read her reassuring words of advice…
Let’s be honest, mealtimes with kids can feel like a battlefield. One minute you’re serving up a balanced, lovingly prepared dinner, and the next you’re looking at a discarded plate of food and a demand for toast… again. As a mum of two boys, I’ve been there (more times than I can count). And after 18 years working as a paediatric nurse and now as a registered nutritionist, I can confidently say this: ‘what’s on the plate matters a lot less than how mealtimes feel’.
Often we are so focused on getting the right food into them that we miss the bigger picture. Yes, nutrition is important - but so is creating a positive relationship with food. Longer-term, the emotions at the dinner table shape their relationship with food far more than whether they ate those three mouthfuls of peas or not.
So, what if we pressed pause on the food stress and focused on making mealtimes something our kids actually want to be part of?
Let’s shift the focus
It’s easy to fall into the trap of meal negotiation: “Just three more bites and you can have pudding.” But this often leads to power struggles and tension, which can create negative feelings around food, for you and them. Instead, let’s take a step back.
For a moment, forget what they’re eating. Ask yourself: am I relaxed and present? Are we enjoying time together? Is this a chance for connection?
When we create a calm, enjoyable space, kids are more likely to engage and sometimes even eat more without the pressure.
Bring play to the table
One of my favourite tricks is to make the table about more than food. A quick word game like 20 Questions, Eye Spy, or Would You Rather? can work wonders. It keeps wriggly kids entertained and gives them something to look forward to. Suddenly, dinner isn’t a chore, it’s a chance to have Mum’s full attention or tell Dad about that hilarious thing that happened at school.
When kids feel connected and engaged, they’re more likely to stay at the table and hopefully, even take a few bites of what’s in front of them.
The bigger picture
I know the frustration of untouched meals and never-ending requests for bedtime snacks all too well. But when I zoom out, I realise the most important thing I can give my kids isn’t a plate of perfectly balanced food - it’s a healthy, positive relationship with eating. That starts with the atmosphere we create, not the number of carrot sticks they eat.
Let’s try to remember that a spoonful of peas is not going to make or break their nutrition? But a lifetime of feeling relaxed, connected, and positive around food? That’s the real win.
So, if tonight’s dinner ends with more laughs than green beans eaten - I think I’d call that a success.
Big thanks to Hannah for the timely words of wisdom! And if you fancy connecting with her yourself (she’s here in Devon!), you can reach out below. Here’s to happy meals ahead!
